Weakness

I have loved this week off from teaching.

It has been good.

Different?

Yes.

But very good.

I've planned, blogged, researched, and 

enjoyed wonderful people.  

So good.

BUT

I've felt:

achy, tired, unproductive, grouchy, negative, sad, sloppy…

It's just been one of those weeks

when you feel off.

You know what I mean?

That in itself is NOT a bad thing.

BUT 

when my bible study was walking

into an english speaking Ash Wednesday service 

I was carrying all those feelings with me.

Through the scripture readings and songs I was having trouble

connecting with the Lord.

I was feeling guilty about myself and my week.

Sometimes I slip into believing the lie 

that God only wants me when I'm "strong".

When I'm:

well liked, busy, productive, organized, happy, energized, helpful, 

encouraging, healthy, put together…

lies.

In the middle of the Ash Wednesday service I was reminded of 

a YL leader retreat from a few years ago.

It was ALL about weakness.

And how the Lord uses our weakness.

I had forgotten that.

That Ash Wednesday service was such a sweet time with the Lord

AFTER I remembered how much He loves me

in the middle of my mess.  

What lies do you catch yourself believing sometimes?  

I dare you to talk about them with a trusted friend today.