Gracias a Dios [the hard stuff]

My mom comes on Saturday!

I am beyond excited to see her :)

I cannot wait to hug her, show her my town, and fall asleep near her.

People have told me that it is hard to have visitors sometimes, 

because it's like your 2 worlds are coming together.

I totally understand that.

It is hard when they are completely separate.

But can't it be more like

my world is finally together.

I feel like I've really tried my best to fill my family and friends in on life here in Jarabacoa.

It's great... and it's hard.

I want them to know the truth, not just the fluffy highlight reel.

When my mom gets here on Saturday, I want her to feel like she is finally IN the place that she has 

heard about and seen on the computer screen for 2 months.  

I don't want her to be surprised it's hard.

[look at those faces... they just scream "this is HARD!]

A friend of mine casually wrote something in an e-mail the other day that caught me off guard.  

She mentioned that my weekend plans had to be fun

because I was living in another country.

Now I know she didn't mean it exactly like that, and I know her well enough to understand why she thinks that.  (love you girl)

BUT life here is not always fun.  

It is hard for me to find joy sometime.  

Lately I've been wondering if I've totally messed up my life.

I tearfully admitted that to a friend last night.

I'm scared I'll never feel fully at home in the states again.

I'm scared I'll never feel fully at home in Jarabacoa either.

Oh dear.

Thankfully I have wise friends.

Kaia reminded me where my home really is.

I don't need to put pressure on myself to feel at home anywhere other than 

with the Lord.

But it is still scary, it just is.  

Do you like how I just squished 3 blog posts into 1?  

I'm about to add another :)

...

A {short} list of some of the hard things I'm thankful for

1. cold cold cold showers

2.  men talking to me on the street

3.  nights alone

4.  no coffee drinks

5.  language barrier 

6.  strange smells

7.  hard nights of sleep

8.  sweating all the time

9.  little and big bugs

10.  loud nighttime noises 

Even though these things are hard, I know the Lord uses them for good.

someway... somehow... these cold showers are for good :)

I hope my life here in the DR does not come off as happy-fun-always great.

It isn't.

It's great... and it's hard.

Thanks for being there for me through it all.  

wow.  that was a lot of words.  sorry.